Have Hook, Will Felt...dammit!

So, I'm more of a knitter than crocheter. Mainly because my crochet looks wonky and it's harder for me to figure out where I (probably) screwed up. I am not putting down crochet! I like crochet! I just prefer not to do it at this time.

Anyway, my nifty yarnaholic buddy Ames got me some really pretty felting yarn and was kind enough to include a pattern to make a felted bowl or three. Keep in mind that this is my first attempt at following a crochet pattern. And I'm fairly notorious for having trouble following a knitted pattern...

The following is a recount of my bowl-making adventure. Some of it may have been a hallucination, but most of it is really what happened.

Attempt #1:
Read the pattern. Attempt to decipher these strange letter combinations. Ask Ames what half of them mean. Set the pattern and yarn aside for the time being. Eat chocolate to celebrate new yarn and pattern.

Attempt #2:
Read the pattern again. Do happy dance that I actually remember what these strange letter combinations mean. Dig frantically around in yarn bag to find crochet hooks and pray I have the right size. Set yarn and pattern aside for the time being.

Attempt #3:
Put the pattern in front of me. Proper size hook in one hand, end of yarn in the other. Try to make both items mesh by jamming hands together. Stumble into bathroom for aspirin and bandaids for hook-induced wounds. Set yarn and pattern aside.

Attempt #4:
Look warily at pattern, hook and yarn. Have long internal debate about wisdom of mastering this blasted pattern. Begin working the pattern, using bandaged finger to follow directions. Forget to count stitches. Work 5 of the 11 rows of the pattern. Call Ames to ask if bowl is supposed to be bell-shaped before felting. Wait for laughter to stop, assure Ames that Yes! I'm following the pattern! Frog back to beginning, accidentally breaking yarn close to the end. Throw tools down in disgust. Change bandages. Eat chocolate instead of aspirin.

Attempt #5:
Snarl at pattern, hook and yarn. Drink caffeine for nerves. Begin working pattern, this time remembering to count stitches as well. Lose count of stitches. Lose place in pattern while trying to count stitches. Find place in pattern, but stitches aren't adding up right. Try to bully stitches into matching pattern count. Set project aside to eat more chocolate.

Attempt #6:
Wonder if bowl is going to double as a hat. Find place in pattern. Count stitches. Frog back row by row because stitches aren't adding up to pattern counts. Find properly crocheted row, mark pattern. Work one row, count stitches, stitches don't match pattern! Frog row. Try row again. Row done properly! Eat chocolate to celebrate.

Attempt #7:
Buy more chocolate!

* The bowl still isn't finished. Actually, it looks more like a plate at the moment. But I WILL master this pattern, by Gods! (I feel multiple exclamation marks coming on. I'm going to go eat more chocolate...)